Guest post: Spencer Dryden

Hi Everyone,
My friend Spencer has a book coming out today. Here's a post from him about the writing process.

Congratulations, Spencer!
Sybil

A Musing Story?

As writers we are often asked where our ideas come from. I'm working on a fanciful answer to add to the mystery of Spencer Dryden that might make me the darling of bloggers everywhere. I like the notion of the muse riding on a purple unicorn blasting me with pixie dust. I'm going with the muse idea because there is no rational explanation for my novella, "Bliss". It's very different from everything I have written so far in my short career. Most of my stuff is erotic short stories laced with humor. "Bliss" is dark, at least for me.

"Bliss" is the story of a woman's struggle with sexual shame. The story takes place in the mythical town of Bliss, New Hampshire, where an outwardly successful woman, Christina McArdle, is facing a big interior struggle. So a guy who normally writes male POV erotic fiction with plenty of humor starts writing a dark tale of suspense from a female POV. Where did that come from?

I don't have a good answer. In fact, "Bliss" jumped ahead in line of another of my writing themes, a madcap science fiction/fantasy. I'm the guy behind "The Gueschtunkina Ray Gun"—one blast from this weapon puts a woman into a high state of sexual arousal. It's fun and funny and I hope you'll be reading the series one day. But Christina's story wouldn't go away so I just kept writing.

Christina is in a classic shame bind. She has unaddressed psychic trauma from an assault as a girl. The repressed incident has manifest itself as problems with intimacy as an adult. Her husband has lost sexual interest in her and she doesn't have the tools to address the problem. She goes to a shrink. Well that's not enough fun, so the story heaps on dark undertones of religious repression via a misogynistic pastor on a sexual purity kick among the men of his flock. Sinister forces come into play. Christina's challenge is that she must cast out the demons of her past and present or lose the love of her life.

I tested the story on my writers group (ERWA a fine place to go) and was amazed at the way the story resonated with women readers. I had set out to write an erotic romance but the story had enough twists and turns that it is better described as romantic suspense. It took me a couple of rejections to figure that out. I sent it to Breathless Press and bingo, the great surprise of my early writing career. I still don't know where it came from so let's just go with the muse thing.

I don't have enough lines on my CV to be dispensing writing advice. I can say what I did. I wrote the story I wanted to hear, then figured out what to do with it.

I am very anxious to hear reader's reaction to the story. I hope you'll not only read it but take a moment to send me your thoughts. I need to get some feedback to the muse, maybe she's got another tale for me.

You can reach me via my website: http://www.fictionbyspencer.com/

On twitter @SpencerDryden

I'm also on Goodreads and google + and Facebook

Bliss

In the prosperous community of Bliss, New Hampshire, in 1995, Christina  McArdle is living a feminist dream. In short order she has become the first female partner of the venerable, male dominated CPA firm of Driscol, Ryan, Jensen and Palmer. The honor followed by her selection as the first female member of the prestigious Maplewood Country Club.

But Christina fears that her career success has come at a terrible price. Her husband, Ben, has lost sexual interest in her. Unable to ignite his passion for her and desperate for understanding of her own inhibitions, Christina turns  to Dr. Rachel Morissey, a sex therapist, who helps Christina uncover dark secrets from her past.

Christina's path to recovery is blocked by a misogynistic pastor who traps her and many other women of her church in a shame bind that serves his purulent interests.

Her journey to freedom requires Christina to break bonds from past and present or lose the love of her life.

Remember how at the beginning of December, I recommended everyone check out the debate on Cato Unbound regarding legalization of prostitution? Well, December is over and, I presume, so is the debate. Ms McNeill, who wrote supporting decriminalization, did not disappoint. Her arguments were articulate, logical, and backed up by data.

The prohibitionists, on the other hand, were clueless, illogical, and generally overwrought. Dianne Post, in particular, relied on unsupported, outlandish claims ("prostitution is slavery!"), exaggerations, and discredited data to make her points. The comments sections on her essays are awesome though. The commenters didn't let any of her crap go unchallenged. If you like a good debate, and especially if you enjoy seeing hysterical, irrational ideologues taking a smack-down, the whole thing is worth reading.

However, the very best part of the whole debate is a comment by Franz. While the essayists and the other commenters stuck to theoretical arguments, Franz made the whole thing real with a very personal tribute to escorts. His comment began,

"Dear Ms. Post, if you argue that prostitution reinforces the subordination of women, I like to argue that, while sex workers are being paid for rendering services that focus on simple sexual gratification, they really reinforce a complex of human values, such as mutual understanding, consideration, kindness, affection, and even friendship. In fact, generally they are quite extraordinary human beings.

For instance:

Tonight, my escort, a migrant 36-year old woman, called me unexpectedly asking how I was doing. Since some time I am housebound and bedridden. For about 20 minutes we had a heartwarming, witty conversation that lifted my spirit, and it ended with her offering spontaneously to come by tomorrow (New Year's Eve) and cook for me. I protested but no discussion possible. So I subordinated/surrendered/accepted. A few hours later she texted me this: "I know you feel lonely don't worry we will talk tomorrow dear don't worry, #love#kisses#hugs". Note: she's not coming for a business appointment but to cook. It would be an insult if I offered to pay her something, even for the groceries she's going to bring."

He went on from there to a lovely, impassioned defense of compassionate prostitution that brought tears to my eyes.

It took me back to when I was a topless dancer and I experienced, so clearly, that many men were not just looking for sexual stimulation. They were also in need of companionship, a listening ear, a woman to sit and share a drink and company. Men showed me pictures of their kids, and talked about their loneliness since their wives divorced them. Or they told me about their jobs, their plans and aspirations. Some men wanted to just joke and laugh together. 

I cared about my customers, their stories and their lives. Yes, they tipped me for lap dances, and plenty of people would like you to believe that this negates a real, human connection. Well, it doesn't. Psychotherapists get paid. Physiotherapists get paid. Personal trainers get paid. Midwives get paid. Anyone who provides a valuable personal service deserves to be paid for their work, yet they can and do still care deeply about their clients.

I learned that, for men, sex and nurturing are often connected. The sex prohibitionists don't want this truth exposed. They push the idea that male sexuality is always violent, destructive and exploitive. Can it be destructive? Yes. Is this typical? No.

Go read Franz's comment! You'll be glad you did.

A Billion Wicked Thoughts is one of my favorite books about sexuality. The authors used an innovative, totally bottom-up method to develop the insights they report in it. They analyzed the content of thousands and thousands of internet searches to find out what people (mostly men) are looking for when they look for sexual content online. The authors have come up with some new interpretations of their data since the book was published, and now they're creating a series of videos to delve further into these ideas.
Here's one of their new videos, a fascinating look at men's erotic interest in women of various ages.

A writer I really admire, Maggie McNeill of The Honest Courtesan, has the lead article on Cato Unbound this month. She's advocating legalization of prostitution. Great stuff, extremely articulate and well-researched.

new story: dissolve

I've got a new story appearing on the Erotica Readers and Writers Association website. It's called 'Dissolve.' All the ERWA stories are Halloween-themed this month, so they're supposed to be dark, supernatural or scary. I wrote this one specifically for the theme. I don't know whether it will frighten anyone else, but it sure scared me. I was working on it at night, alone in my bedroom, heard a noise somewhere out in the house. Shit. Do I go and investigate or just sit here frozen in sweaty-palmed terror? Note to self: don't write any more scary stories, but if you do, make sure you do it when someone else is home.

Also, I ran across this old article about a marriage enrichment retreat on Salon. It didn't turn out exactly like the marriage enrichment retreat in 'Mesmerized,' but there were some striking similarities.

shameless behavior release party

Shameless Behavior: Brazen Stories of Overcoming Shame is out at last! It came out a couple of days earlier than I expected, actually.

I celebrated by downloading it and spending the day reading the whole thing. My favorite stories in it are 'Tamar,' 'Twin Scars' and 'Wet.' 'Tamar,' by Daniel Burnell, has a unique voice and lovely, transcendent imagery. 'Twin Scars,' by Axa Lee, perfectly captures the effect on a woman's sexuality of pregnancy, childbirth, and loss. 'Wet,' by Kyoko Church, confronts the pain suffered by a woman when a lover is disgusted by her body, and the confusion, hesitation, and ultimate healing when a new lover is aroused by the same (supposed) flaw. There are lots of other good stories in there. It's definitely worth the wait.

At last we have a release date for Shameless Behavior. September 30! That's less than a week away, and I can't wait. Excerpts from the stories are being published on the Go Deeper Press blog, so if you want previews, you should go check it out.

Also on September 30, my stories 'A Wanted Man' and 'Changement' will disappear from the Erotica Readers and Writers website. 'A Wanted Man' is the best story I've ever written. I'll be sad when it disappears from the web, and I hope it finds a new home someday. (Yes, I know that writers are supposed to be the worst judges of their own work, but I really poured my heart into that one.)